Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
