Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
