I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
All the doctor said was why
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize