I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
