I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
