dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
