I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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