My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
