Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
