Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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