Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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