You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
