So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He felt like a one man threesome
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Randomize
