Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
