I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
