Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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