Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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