I look better un-naked...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
