do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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