Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I want to stick my p in your. b.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
how drunk are you?
Several
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
