I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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