Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
