Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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