it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
