hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize