Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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