I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
