Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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