I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
