pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
