Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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