THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
