How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
