Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
