I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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