thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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