apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
