So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
