I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize