the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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