I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize