chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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