If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
