i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
