At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My ass is underappreciated
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
