it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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