you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
