how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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