thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
