I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
