You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
