My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
