so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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