id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
