Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
