Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
