Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook

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(860): View more from Connecticut

How drunk are you??

(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm flawless.

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(408): View more from California

How was your sisters wedding?

(1-408): View more from California

Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.

(408): View more from California

sisterhood ftl.

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(914): View more from New York

Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video

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(404): View more from Georgia

he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.

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(707): View more from California

you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?

(1-707): View more from California

yeah, you wanna come?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit

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(865): View more from Tennessee

My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in

(1-865): View more from Tennessee

Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?

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