I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
