ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
